The Best Attorney in San Francisco - A Poem From My Jump From Heaven
THE BEST ATTORNEY IN SAN FRANCISCO - ATTORNEY LET'EM GO
Attorney Let’emgo let out a moan.
His client’s tale began in Mexico
He’d drunk a bottle of Oso Negro
then drove his car past the Border Patrol.
A trail of sirens, and police cars in his wake
in the back streets of L. A. he eluded the parade.
He drove all the way to the San Francisco Gate.
When he got to Frisco he fell out of his car,
staggered to a house and opened the door.
The Cops found him sleeping on the floor.
Attorney Let’emgo said, “Stop, I’ve heard enough!
I’ll take your case and get you off.”
What is and what’s not burglary
is evidence no one can see.
A prosecutor must prove
beyond a reasonable doubt
that when a suspect enters a house
the intent inside of the suspect’s heart
is to commit theft or felony farce.
In court, Let’emgo made the argument
his client’s drunkenness made him innocent.
Then added, better drunk than a crook!
He entered the wrong house by mistake.
To steal was obviously not his intent,
nor was the entry to commit a felony farce.
He was mixed up and wanted to sleep.
The only intent in my client’s head
was to go home and straight to bed.
Then in front of the jury Let’emgo
pulled out a bottle of Oso Negro.
He took some swigs as he would argue
and to the jury put on a show.
By the time his argument was through,
he had drunk the bottle of Oso Negro,
and didn’t know where he was or what to do.
He couldn’t see if the jury was still there.
The Bailiff led him back to his chair.
The jury was out for a few minutes.
They came back, “not guilty,” unanimous!
Let’emgo was interviewed by the news.
Sober with coffee he expounded his views.
He hoped the judge didn’t think he was rude
‘cause he took some snorts as he argued.
The judge ruled he shouldn’t have gotten drunk.
Such antics left unpunished set bad precedent.
He found Let’emgo guilty of contempt
for drinking booze without his consent.
Let’emgo was sentenced three days in the clink.
Three days more than his client.
The judge said, “It should have been more; but . . .
I liked attorney Let’emgo’s argument.”
Since that verdict an awkward reputation
has followed Let’emgo.
When drunk he is the best attorney in San Francisco.
DRAWING AND POEM BY CHARLES N. GUTHRIE, IRONICALLY AN ATTORNEY
IN SAN DIEGO CALIFORNIA.
CHARLES N. GUTHRIE'S POEM IS FEATURED IN HIS LATEST BOOK, MY JUMP FROM HEAVEN, WHICH CAN BE PURCHASED ON
&
MY JUMP FROM HEAVEN IS A COLLECTION OF POETRY THAT CHARLES HAS WRITTEN OVER THE DECADES, SOME INCLUDE BACKSTORIES WHICH GIVE THE READER THE BACKGROUND IN WHICH THE POEM WAS WRITTEN.
CHARLES N. GUTHRIE HAS SERVED AS A CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY IN SAN DIEGO FOR OVER 40 YEARS; FUN FACT, HE'S ALSO AN EDUCATOR AUTHOR AND SERVED ON THE SAN DIEGO POLICE FORCE.
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